mini update

I have a whole new blog post written up to catch up on what has been going on in my life. I wrote it in word and then tried to cut and paste to here. For some reason my computer at work won't let me do that. So.....a nice lengthy post is coming....hopefully sometime in the next couple of days. I have this problem where I don't tend to log onto my computer at home much. This has greatly hindered my ability to blog. Things are good, I am happy, the family is well.

Watch for more news soon.

Mondays

The meaning of Mondays is changing for me. For the last year and some months Monday has been a day off, a day where I can make appointments, go shopping, and relax a bit. Starting next week that is no longer the case and I will be back to working the "traditional" Monday to Friday job. Not that I am unhappy about this, but it will be strange. For that time when I would hear someone say something about Mondays and how much they suck I just couldn't really relate. My Monday's didn't suck, my Monday's were usually pretty good. But now when Sunday night rolls around instead of thinking about what I will do with my day off the next day I will be thinking about getting ready for work, about what I will wear, what I will take for lunch. Wondering what the day will be like. I get a wonderful exchange for giving up my Monday's though, I get a real Friday night and I get Saturdays with my family. That is amazing.

Peace

My dreams last night were very random and scattered. I remember bits and pieces. One bit that sticks out in my memory:

I was at my Grammie's church in Helena with my Mom and my Grammie. It was the part of the service where the priest says "peace be with you" and the parishioners all say, "and also with you" and then tell each other "peace be with you" and either shake hands or hug the people around you that you share the peace with. I have no clue what that part is called not being catholic, but it was always a nice part where I felt that the people really were sharing love and peace with each other. In the dream my Grammie gave me a big hug and said, "Peace be with you Molly-O" and then I turned to share with others. When I turned back Grammie was gone and a lady said to me, "I don't know you. Are you new?" I told her we were visiting, that I was Dee King's grandaughter. She said something along the lines of how lucky I was and how much everyone misses her.

Waking up I see this as a nice message from Grammie. She is at peace and would like us to be as well. I am lucky to have had her in my life and I cherish every minute of time I had with her.

wish it were 2pm

It's Memorial Day and everyone on the continent has the day off. Except for me. My work feels that even though full time staff is of no use to help with registers etc. that on "busy" holidays we must be here. Add to that I worked all night Thursday night and have no had a day off since last Monday. I should be able to take some time for having to work this weekend but because of school groups I really can't. I need to be here to give tours.

I am supposed the be able to leave today at 2pm. I am so ready for it to be that time. Please Universe, make the day go quickly.....

comfort clothes

I want to know why flannel pants and a ratty old t-shirt can't be sexy. Shouldn't a person be more attractive when they are comfortable and at ease? The silky little nothings can be fun for a romp but I am not relaxed when I wear them, or at least not as relaxed as I am in "comfort" clothes.

The same for your everyday clothes too. Sexy is the skirt with heels. Heels that kill your feet, and a skirt that requires care in every movement you make so you don't flash someone unintentionally (intentional flashing is an entirely different matter). I would much rather wear flat sandals and a loose flowy skirt or pants with a loose top and no bra. But that is not considered as "sexy" as the other.

I would like to propose a change in the social construct of reality and make it so that comfort dictates sexy. Anyone with me?

Job Opening

All in all I have been doing fairly well with the loss of my father. That may be an exaggeration. But anyway, what I mean is I haven’t had too many moments where I have thought of or needed him and then had to remind myself that he is gone. It has happened a couple of times, but not much. Last week however I was driving home from work and my car tried to overheat on me. I started to cycle through the Molly Memory Bank on what to do when the car has a problem. This is what I found:

Step 1: Stay Calm – Okay, did that.
Step 2: Call Dad – oh wait, can’t do that – oops, there goes step one.

There was no step 3. What was I supposed to do now? My brain started to scroll through the rolodex of people. My brother crossed my mind, he is a lot like my Dad, he would know what to do. But he would also give me crap about it. Then again so would my Dad. My boss, he would probably know what to do, he is a nice guy, he would understand that I needed help and had no-one else to call. (oh, in case you are wondering I didn’t call my husband simply because he was on a movie shoot and I didn’t want to disturb him, or make him worry). In the end I didn’t call anyone. I went to Sears Automotive, they were no help at all. They directed me to the place across the street. In the end I got some assistance and some advice and the next morning the car didn’t overheat on my way to work. My underlying problem in all of this was: What am I supposed to do when the person I need is my Dad and he is not there?

In the last several years it has not been often that I would call my Dad for advice or help. But when I needed him, he was more or less there. Even if he didn’t really know the answer I could still throw those questions at him that Dad’s are supposed to know. He would harass me gently for not knowing what to do and then give some advice that although was often not the perfectly correct answer it would help me get to the place to find the right one. Now I have blank spot on my list of people to call for certain kinds of problems. Should I post an ad on craigslist for someone new to fill that position? Should I randomly pick a friend or other family member? There are plenty of people in my life that are happy to help me when I need it, I am certainly not at a loss for good friends and awesome family.

I think the basic issue is: I don’t need someone to help me solve problems, I need my Dad.

I am alive

I am sure by now anyone who has cared to read my blog in the past has given up. But, if you are still with me, I thank you. My life has been crazy the last several months and I am starting to feel with it again. At least with it enough to consider vomiting my thoughts and feelings out into the interwebs for all to see. So, with that said I am going to bed and will try to start keeping this thing updated. The need for sleep overrides the need to blog.....sorry.

Love you all!!